Dating Dealbreakers

I am definitely the opposite of a serial monogamist. It just boggles my mind how people can find soo many people that they are super attracted to and want to date so quickly. Maybe they are not very picky and the only requirements they have in a partner is has a penis or vagina or you know is breathing (except the necrophiliacs who don’t really need the breathing to be turned on). But I am not one who easily gets in to relationships; it’s a really big thing that I cannot just be in with someone who is just ok, they need to be better than ok for me. Obviously, people have their own list of criteria that qualifies someone as being better than ok, but what are things that would make you run away screaming in the other direction?

Well here are mine

1.      Abuse (mental or physical): this is a really really big one and it’s pretty self explanatory. I have no interest in being with someone who hurts me, whether that is by hitting or putting me down. Just. Cannot. Deal.

2.       Jealousy: Is such a huge no. I want to be with a  guy who is secure enough to understand that yes, I sometimes talk to people of the opposite sex and no, that does not mean that I want to have their children (well I might want their children, but I’m not actually going to do anything about that). It always mystifies me to know end people who have decided to pair up with such jealous and controlling people. I have heard people justify it by saying, well they care about me so it’s ok, ummm it’s never ok for someone to control who you can and cannot be friends with. Never.

3.       Bad kisser/bad in bed: ok I’m sure this is not something on everyone’s list, or it may be on the list but they may not admit it, either way this is definitely a deal breaker. Why would I settle down with someone who is just not great in bed? What’s the point? Yes, I may care for them and what not, but if we are not able to connect on that sexual level, then I don’t really want to connect on any level.

4.       Not ambitious: This is not negotiable. I cannot be with someone, let alone attracted to someone, that does not have bigger plans then going to a bar this Friday night. I mean don’t you have dreams? Or aspirations? Or you know a soul? I have dreams and places I want to go and things I want to accomplish, I want someone to help me achieve my goals as I help them achieve theirs. I do not want someone ridding on my coat tails…way too depressing.

5.       Opposite political views or no political views: I’m a liberal thinker and I come from a family with liberal thinkers, and I know that I would not be able to be with someone with more conservative views. Why? Well, conservatives are usually anti-immigrants, anti- abortion/women’s rights, anti-gay rights, way too into big business and a multitude of other reasons. These things are all extremely important to me.

1.       Very religious: I am in no way against religion. I am against organized religion for myself. That’s it. So I feel like an extremely religious person wouldn’t want to be with someone who on my best days is  an agnostic and at my worst is atheist and on those days, I really don’t want to hear about whatever deity they happen to believe in. 

1.    Smokers: I don’t like the smell, and I probably wouldn’t like the taste.